HERALD SUN
Just five weeks after the arrival of their newborn son Sunny, Elyse Knowles and her fiancé Josh Barker took the baby on his first camping trip. In the holiday photos they shared on social media, both the model and the ocean around her seemed to sparkle.
But the ever-honest Knowles, who has built her brand and an 878,000-strong social-media following on always being completely herself, reveals to Stellar that what doesn’t come across in those photos is the anxiety she felt in those early days of motherhood.
“[During that stage when] you’re housebound, sitting in the same spot on the couch, being a milk bar, I found that really hard because I don’t live like that at all. I didn’t leave the house and I was feeling quite anxious that I was never going to be able to leave,” she says now.
“But Josh was really great with pushing me out, so we went camping when Sunny was five weeks old. We got out there and did it. Josh said, ‘What could go wrong?’ Which is true. And I’m so grateful he did push me because now I feel confident doing those special things as a family.”
Knowles and Barker, who won the 2017 season of The Block, welcomed their firstborn into the world in February. When Stellar spoke with the 28-year-old in the lead-up to Sunny’s birth, she revealed that she didn’t have a birth plan. And when it comes to raising Sunny, she’s equally fluid.
“I think there are lots of surprises being a mum. It has been wonderful exploring him every day and the different challenges you face each day. They teach you to be a stronger woman pretty damn fast, because you have to be,” she says.
That strength was required to face the debilitating anxiety Knowles experienced at the start, especially – and ironically – when time came for her to leave the house.
“I got quite anxious leaving home for the first time. My heart was racing. I didn’t know if I could do it,” she recalls.
“Having [Sunny], having our dogs and getting out there... And Sunny was screaming in the car and it made me quite scared.
“I found it hard to breathe and I had to tell myself, ‘It’s fine, what could go wrong? Everyone has babies... you just have to go for it.’ It took a couple of times to feel confident. But I’m not going to lie, it was hard at the start.”
However, the one thing she learnt early on was to ask for help. Knowles moved to Byron Bay from Melbourne in 2019, and while the coastal NSW town suits the couple’s laid-back and nature-loving lifestyle, it has been hard living away from the support of their families.
“We’re juggling by ourselves, but I’m really proud we’re doing it on our own and I feel really strong. I think it’s a bit of a pat on our backs that we’re doing it by ourselves because it’s bloody hard,” Knowles tells Stellar.
“My motto has been not to be negative at all, to just go with the flow. If I’m tired, Josh picks that up pretty quick and takes [Sunny] off me, and I’ll express some milk and leave the house for an hour. Having that hour off makes me a completely new human. And Josh loves that time with Sunny.”
Even before she had a little human in tow, Knowles spent a lot of time away from family. After modelling for local brands from the age of 10, she headed overseas to further her career at the age of 15.
“I think there was a lot of pressure in the industry that you had to go overseas to ‘make it’,” she says now. However, after stints in the US, China and Hong Kong, Knowles was ready to come home.
“I had plenty of opportunities to live and work overseas. I tried it so many times, but I didn’t like it; it wasn’t for me. I just love Australia,” she explains, adding that it was Australians who really celebrated her personality.
“I’m not a US girl. I was always the short girl, the blonde, the relatable one. Not the six-foot model. I was the girl who wasn’t really looked at anyway. I didn’t feel confident over there and didn’t feel like I could shine. But coming home, I felt like people celebrated me and appreciated me for who I was.”
It’s why Knowles has partnered with the Australian Made Campaign for the launch of its first Australian Made Week on May 24.
“There aren’t many hours in the day that are free anymore, so I only like working with things that are close to my heart – and supporting Australian Made couldn’t be more important right now,” she says, adding that she encourages people to purchase products with the green and gold kangaroo logo on them.
“You see how many overseas actors and entertainers are moving to Australia because it’s such a good country. Everyone wants to be here. And we’re already here. We have to keep reminding ourselves how lucky we are.”